the KMF Fund

Today I read a story that was so moving I had to share it..  it is about a young girl named Keriann McLain.  Keriann was a free-spirited 19 year old who loved to lived life to the fullest.  She seemed to put a smile on everyones face she came into contact with. In November 2009, Keriann was killed in a car accident. Her pre-mature death was not taken lightly – and has inspired the mission of the KMC fund. The goal of the organization is to carry on her legacy by encouraging those who have lost a loved one to focus on a celebration of life over loss. Keriann’s life ended at the age of 19; although her life was short, it was filled with fun, life and love. This Fund is dedicated to her fun-loving spirit and to help others who have experienced loss find joy in the memory of their loved one. The KMC Fund provides serenity kits, support groups & financial assistance to the families that have lost children & young adults. They help to pay for funeral services to those who are financially unstable.  What a great foundation!  If you’d like to support the KMF Fund or read more about what they do, please click on their website. http://www.thekmf.com/

25 Documents you need before you die

It isn’t enough simply to sign a bunch of papers establishing an estate plan and other end-of-life instructions. You also have to make your heirs aware of them and leave the documents where they can find them.

Consider: At least 10 states have been investigating whether some of the country’s largest insurers are failing to pay out unclaimed life policies to beneficiaries. California and Florida have held public hearings on the issue in recent weeks.

Insurers say they are behaving lawfully. Under policy contracts, they aren’t required to take steps to determine if a policyholder is still alive, but instead pay a claim when beneficiaries come forward.

You can avoid such problems by securing important documents and telling your family where they are stored.

Jean Parr is grateful that her mother obsessed about the subject. “I really didn’t want to think about it,” says Ms. Parr, 54 years old, a manager at the American Chemical Society in Washington. But when her mom died in 2005, she knew exactly where to look for the will, the key to a safe-deposit box and documents indicating her mother had paid and arranged for her own funeral.

The financial consequences of failing to keep your documents in order can be significant. According to the National Association of Unclaimed Property Administrators, state treasurers currently hold $32.9 billion in unclaimed bank accounts and other assets. (You can search for unclaimed assets at MissingMoney.com .)

Most experts recommend creating a comprehensive folder of documents that family members can access in case of an emergency, so they aren’t left scrambling to find and organize a hodgepodge of disparate bank accounts, insurance policies and brokerage accounts.

You can store the documents with your attorney, lock them away in a safe-deposit box or keep them at home in a fireproof safe that someone else knows the combination to.

That isn’t to say you should keep everything. Sometimes people hold onto so many papers that loved ones can’t find the important ones easily.

In 2008, Jane Bissler, a counselor in Kent, Ohio, approached her then-87-year-old mother about organizing her documents. Because her mom was a widow with relatively simple finances and two homes, Ms. Bissler, 57, says she figured it would be a relatively simple task.

Instead, it took an entire year for Ms. Bissler and her mother to go through all of her papers, which included documents from eight bank accounts, utility bills from the 1950s and reams of canceled checks.

The two of them pared down the stash from four four-drawer filing cabinets to one two-drawer cabinet, shredding anything extraneous. Ms. Bissler and her mother visited banks and brokerages to ensure she was listed on all of her mother’s accounts. Her mother died in May 2009.

“It would have been a total nightmare if we hadn’t gone through it all with her,” Ms. Bissler says. “It was that Depression-era stuff where you keep everything and hide other things.” Ms. Bissler estimates that having the documents organized ahead of time spared them from ordering an additional 15 copies of the death certificate and “years” of time.

Here is a rundown of the most important documents you’ll need to have signed, sealed and delivered. You should start collecting these as soon as possible and update them every few years to reflect changes in assets and preferences. Some—such as copies of tax returns or recent child-support payments—need to be updated more often than others.

The Essentials

An original will is the most important document to keep on file.

A will allows you to dictate who inherits your assets and, if your children are underage, their guardians. Dying without a will means losing control of how your assets are distributed. Instead, state law will determine what happens.

Wills are subject to probate—legal proceedings that take inventory, make appraisals of property, settle outstanding debt and distribute remaining assets. Not having an original document means this already-onerous process could be much more of an ordeal, since family members can challenge a copy of a will in court.

Rick Law, founder of estate-planning firm Law ElderLaw LLP in Aurora, Ill., says estate planners increasingly recommend revocable trusts in addition to wills, since they are more private and harder to dispute. “Every will is like a compass that points toward the closest courthouse,” he says.

A revocable living trust can be changed anytime during your lifetime. After you transfer ownership of various assets to the trust, you can serve as the trustee on behalf of beneficiaries you designate. Provided you do so, there aren’t any ongoing fees.

If your family can’t find the original trust documents, you are “basically setting your estate up for litigation,” says Duncan Moseley, vice president of Sanders Financial Management in Atlanta.

A “letter of instruction” can be a useful supplement to a will, though it doesn’t hold legal weight. It is a good way to make sure your executor has the names and contact information of your attorneys, accountants and financial advisers. While the will should be stored with your attorney or in a courthouse, the letter of instruction should be more readily accessible, particularly if it contains instructions on funeral arrangements.

Also, make sure your heirs have access to a durable financial power-of-attorney form. Without it, no one can make financial decisions on your behalf in the event that you are incapacitated.

Proof of Ownership

You should keep documentation of housing and land ownership, cemetery plots, vehicles, stock certificates and savings bonds; any partnership or corporate operating agreements; and a list of brokerage and escrow mortgage accounts.

If you don’t tell your family that you own such assets, there is a chance they never will find out. Mr. Moseley says in such an event, clients must perform their own detective work, watching the mail for real-estate tax bills or combing bank accounts for interest payments, for example.

File any documents that list loans you have made to others, since they could be included as assets in an estate. Similarly, keep a list of any debts you owe to avoid surprising your family. Wills and living trusts generally are drafted to include provisions for how debts should be settled, and creditors have a stipulated period of time in which to file a claim against the estate.

Make the most recent three years of tax returns available, too. “Looking at last year’s returns offers a snapshot of what assets we should be looking for this year,” says Lesley Moss Mamdouhi, a principal at estate-law firm Oram & Moss in Chevy Chase, Md. This also will help your personal representative file a final income-tax and estate return and, if necessary, a revocable-trust return.

Bank Accounts

Mr. Law recommends sharing a list of all accounts and online log-in information with your family so they can notify the bank of your death. “If nobody ever takes any more out or puts money in, it becomes a dormant account and then becomes the property of the state,” he says.

Be sure to list any safe-deposit boxes you own, register your spouse or child’s name with the bank and ask them to sign the registration document so they can have access without securing a court order.

Health-Care Confidential

Possibly the most important health-care document to fill out in advance is a durable health-care power-of-attorney form. This allows your designee to make health-care decisions on your behalf if you are incapacitated. The document should be compliant with federal health-information privacy laws, so that doctors, hospitals and insurance companies can speak with your designee. You may also need to fill out an Authorization to Release Protected Healthcare Information form.

If you are incapacitated and your family can’t locate a health-care power of attorney, they will have to go to court to get a guardian appointed.

Porter Storey, executive vice president of the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine in Glenview, Ill., says it isn’t enough to establish a health-care power of attorney unless you have explained to your designee how you would like to be treated in case of incapacity. He also recommends writing a living will detailing your wishes.

After Diane Dimond’s mother had a series of strokes in 2006, Ms. Dimond knew there was a signed living will tucked away in a safe at home. Ms. Dimond, 58 and living in New York, recalls the Sunday she watched her mother in a coma and was able to fulfill her wishes never to be kept on external life support. “It was gut-wrenching,” she says, “but I took the physician aside and said, ‘I want to take her home.'” Having her mother’s living will enabled Ms. Dimond to do just that.

The living will and the power of attorney constitute what are called “advance directives”; some states consolidate these into a single form. (AARP offers a state-by-state listing of advance-directive forms on its website.) Terminally ill patients may wish to have their doctors sign a do-not-resuscitate order.

Certain companies, such as Advance Choice Inc.’s DocuBank, will keep copies of health-care documents for a fee. Subscribers get a wallet-sized card and, in case of an emergency, a hospital will call DocuBank, which will fax over the information.

Life Insurance and Retirement Accounts

Copies of life-insurance policies are among the most important documents for your family to have. Family members need to know the name of the carrier, the policy number and the agent associated with the policy.

Be especially careful with life-insurance policies granted by an employer upon your retirement, since those are the kind that financial planners most often miss, says David Peterson, CEO of Denver-based Peak Capital Investment Services. New York state alone is holding more than $400 million in life-insurance-related payments that have gone unclaimed since 2000, according to the state comptroller’s office.

Estate planners also recommend that you draw up a list of pensions, annuities, individual retirement accounts and 401(k)s for your spouse and children.

An IRA is considered dormant or unclaimed if no withdrawal has been made by age 70½. According to the National Association of Unclaimed Property Administrators, tens of millions of dollars languish in unclaimed IRAs every year.

If your heirs don’t know about these accounts, they won’t be able to lay claim to them, and the money could languish. The U.S. Department of Labor estimates that each year tens of thousands of workers fail to claim or roll over $850 million in 401(k) assets. You can track unclaimed pensions, 401(k)s and IRAs at Unclaimed.com.

Marriage and Divorce

Ensure your spouse knows where you have stored your marriage license. Mary Cay Corr, now 74 and living in Raleigh-Durham, N.C., couldn’t locate hers when her husband died. “I had to write to New York, where we got married, and pay for a new marriage license to prove that I had been married to my husband before I could claim anything,” she says.

For divorced people, it is important to leave behind the divorce judgment and decree or, if the case was settled without going to court, the stipulation agreement, says Linda Lea Viken, president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers in Chicago. These documents lay out child support, alimony and property settlements, and also may list the division of investment and retirement accounts.

Include the distribution sheet listing bank-account numbers that accompanied the settlement to avoid disputes about ownership or payments due. Also include a copy of the most recent child-support payment order. In the majority of states, the obligation to pay child support still exists after death.

Ms. Viken also recommends filing copies of any life-insurance papers. In many states if you have a policy that benefits your children, it can be set off against the ongoing child support.

You also should include a copy of the “qualified domestic-relations order,” which can prove your spouse received a share of your retirement accounts.

"25 documents you need before you die"

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http://www.facebook.com/notes/funeral-directors-chat/the-25-documents-you-need-before-you-die/10150242848918353

9/11 Memorial

I just stumbled upon this in Yahoo News. A national Memorial has been created to honor the lives lost in 9/11. Also there is an entire website dedicated to their memory. Not that a website & memorial makes up for the souls lost to this terrible tragedy, but it is a nice way to honor the near 3,000 people who’s lives were lost that day. We will remember you always…

http://www.911memorial.org/

THE MEMORIAL is a national tribute of remembrance and honor to the nearly 3,000 people killed in the terror attacks of February 26, 1993 and September 11, 2001 at the World Trade Center site, near Shanksville, Pa., and at the Pentagon.

The Memorial design is defined by two reflecting pools, a grove of trees and the names of the victims inscribed in bronze.

The reflecting pools are nearly an acre in size and feature the largest manmade waterfalls in the North America. The pools sit within the footprints where the Twin Towers once stood.

The names of every person who died in 1993 and 2001 attacks are inscribed in bronze panels edging the Memorial pools, a powerful reminder of the unprecedented loss of life in an attack on U.S. soil and of the iconic Twin Towers. Architect Michael Arad and landscape architect Peter Walker created the Memorial design selected from a global design competition that included more than 5,200 entries from 63 nations.

No Storm Lasts Forever

Wayne Dyer is one of my favorite authors.  I recently found a small interview he did with another wonderful author, Louise Hays regarding his book “Change your thoughts, change your life”.  It’s a good one, if you haven’t read it I highly recommend it.  I thought this little bit from their interview  was really inspiring, bringing hope in  the midst of whatever troubles one might be facing.  Just a little happy thought to start off the week…

 

>>>>>>>

Hays: Seeing you as someone who walks their talk, I found it interesting in the preface ofChange Your Thoughts – Change Your Life where you stated that you find yourself still needing to change your own thoughts to transform your life? How is this? Will this always be true for you?

Dyer: Absolutely! You can’t get away from the cyclical universe. What the Tao has taught me is that no storm lasts forever no matter what it is. Nature builds calmness within its storms. That’s true in our own lives as well. When you reach the zenith of where you are going in your life, or in a relationship; the only place you can go is down or up. That’s the nature of this universe; a cyclical thing. The seasons, the moon; everything has a cycle to it.

Hays: So you think that even when you’ve come to a place of peace in your life you still have to go up or down?

Dyer: Yes! Hidden in all good fortune is misfortune. And in all misfortune is good fortune. It’s never going to stay the same as long you are in the world or unless you die while you are alive and become an enlightened Zen Master. But those people don’t exist. When you study their lives, you find that they had the same struggles as the rest of us. It’s not so much about being able to always have calm. Calmness isn’t just the absence of noise or troubles. It’s being able to find calm within yourself when other stuff is going on.

>>>>>>>>>> http://www.drwaynedyer.com/articles/a-conversation-with-dr-wayne-dyer

“There’s no reason to be upset about anything. It will pass. If it’s really going to pass, why stay confused by it and depressed by it. Just watch it go. It’s on its way out. ”  Dr. Wayne Dyer

Oprah on Life and Death

Like every other women in the US, I’ve been obsessed with Oprah these past few weeks. I can’t believe it’s really over. I don’t know if any of you caught the last few episodes, but oh boy were they sad. What ever will we do without our favorite afternoon lady? In memoriam of her show I decided to do a little research & post on Oprah’s take on life & death.

From what I gather from Oprah she is a woman who fully lives in the present. Her viewpoint on death seems to be one of living life to the fullest and knowing that god (or all that is, source, love) will reconnect with you fully in death and when the time is right.

In her final show she said “”I have felt the presence of God my whole life. Even when I didn’t have a name for it, I could feel the voice bigger than myself speaking to me, and all of us have that same voice. Be still and know it. You can acknowledge it or not. You can worship it or not. You can praise it, you can ignore it or you can know it. Know it. It’s always there speaking to you and waiting for you to hear it in every move, in every decision. I wait and I listen. I’m still—I wait and listen for the guidance that’s greater than my meager mind. ” And it is to that presence which you return in death. So try to remember in loss of life there is also light. They have returned to the light and presence of god. And for those of us left, at least in that thought, we can find peace.

She goes on to say a thought not quite having to do with death so much as life, but something I think is wonderful for all of us to remember none-the-less “The only time I’ve ever made mistakes is when I didn’t listen. So what I know is, God is love and God is life, and your life is always speaking to you. First in whispers. … It’s subtle, those whispers. And if you don’t pay attention to the whispers, it gets louder and louder. It’s like getting thumped upside the head, like my grandmother used to do. … You don’t pay attention to that, it’s like getting a brick upside your head. You don’t pay attention to that, the whole brick wall falls down. That’s the pattern I’ve seen in my life, and it’s played out over and over again on this show. Whispers are always messages, and if you don’t hear the message, the message turns into a problem. And if you don’t handle the problem, the problem turns into a crisis. And if you don’t handle the crisis, disaster. Your life is speaking to you. What is it saying?”

Thought for the day…

What’s your life saying? and perhaps more importantly …    Are you listening?

http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/The-Oprah-Winfrey-Show-Finale_1/8

Engage with Grace

Wow, I just stumbled across this website called “Engage with Grace”… And you have to check it out. Click on the “About Engage with Grace” section to hear Za’s story. It is really touching & I think extremely helpful for everyone… Young & old.  I can tell  you, after hearing their story, I downloaded my one slide and intend to talk to my finacee about it tonight.

In short, Engage with Grace is about how most people do not plan on getting sick or having to deal with death, however, if it happens to you and you and you are not prepared, you may not have your ideal experience on the last days of your life.. and that could be really sad.

I think its a great way to open up a conversation about the very natural process of death, while also being a lifesaver, if the unfortunate happens. Check it out, I think you’ll feel the same:)  Here is the link: Engage with Grace.

Funeral Planning 101

It is never an easy task to plan a funeral, especially for someone you love. You are probably overwhelmed with emotion, still in the early stages of grieving and the last thing you want to think about is planning the funeral. Traditionally, it is the immediate family who are assigned this task, and if this is you, you may be feeling overwhelmed. Luckily, you are not alone, there are plenty of resources at your fingertips to help yo through this difficult time. Just to give you an idea of where to start, we have compiled a list of the first steps in planning a funeral.

The First Steps in Planning a Funeral

1. Choose a funeral home or mortuary. The mortuary will set you up with a funeral directory who will help you through the planning process.

2. Check the will. Did your loved one specify anything about their funeral? If so, you may want to consider how to best execute their wishes.

3. Decide what to do with the body. Where will the body stay until the funeral service is held? Will the deceased be buried or cremated? If decide on a burial, you will also need to choose a casket. For a cremation, will it be at sea or will you need an urn?

4. Where do you want to hold the funeral? What kind of service will it be? You will have to decide on the location of the funeral service. Your funeral director can give you helpful tips on the best places in your area.

5. Where will the burial be? Will it be right after the service or on a later date?

6. Who will lead the service. Do you belong to a church or religious group that has someone such as a pastor that can lead the memorial?

7. Decide how the service will proceed. What music, scriptures, poetry, verses, stories will be included? Creating a program will help you to organize this part. Often times priests or pastors will help you create a program or if you want something more personalized there are funeral designers who will take care of all your funeral graphic needs.

8. Create a memorial poster. Gather photos and documents that bring back fond memories of your loved one and put them together in a collage to show family and friends at the service. Funeral design specialists can also help with this.

9. What will your loved one wear? If it is an open coffin, you may consider picking out an outfit and getting it dry-cleaned.

10. Funeral transportation – how will the deceased arrive? Your funeral director will help you arrange this.

11. Who will read the eulogy? Will there be several people? Be sure to include their name(s) in the program.

12. Submit an obituary to your local newspaper. Who will write it? Do you have a photo you can send as well?

13. Organize a luncheon for after the service. It is a common practice for the family to get together for lunch after the funeral service. Figure out where it will be and include directions in the program. This will help aid with confusion later. Additionally, you can show a slide show at the luncheon. Your funeral designer can help with that as well. Or perhaps someone in the family is good with computers and can help you put it together at home.

14. Email and call your loved ones friends & family. Make sure they know when the service is, and how to get there. Consider ordering personalized prayer cards with your loved ones photo and a special prayer or poem to give to guests when they arrive. Often times this little gesture can be very special.

15. Don’t forget to bring a card box and to have a guest book. Personalized guest books can be ordered online or often times you can buy one from your funeral home.

Unfortunately, more often than not, most of these details are not even thought about until after the death occurs. This leaves the family feeling overwhelmed and unprepared in dealing sorting through all of the technicalities. Hopefully this list helped you to feel a little more knowledgable about where to start with the planning process.

Family members should work together to make sure each part of the service is taken care of. Delegating during this time is essential as it is extremely difficult for one person to take on all of the details by themselves. Planning a funeral is rarely a happy event, but with some cooperation, help and practical advice, you can create a lasting and memorable final goodbye.

Funeral Graphic Designer?

When I found out my grandmother, and one person who meant the world to me, had passed away, the last thing I wanted to think about was her funeral program. However, when my grandfather asked me to create it, I couldn’t say no.

Going through all her old pictures and talking to her friends about her favorite songs & prayers to use in the program was tough, but spending hours writing it up, scanning those photos and bringing it to fruition was even tougher. Not because it was a difficult job, but because it was an emotionally tormenting process.

I was a graphic designer by profession, so the logistics of putting a beautiful program together should not have been difficult. However, when you find yourself putting together a funeral program for your loved one, there is not a more difficult thing to do.

Wouldn’t it be nice if there were someone, a family friend or acquaintance whom you knew could take this burden off of you? Someone who could design a beautiful program with love and elegance in a way that portrayed your love one in the light and joy of their life? Someone who could take care of all the details and just a few short days (or hours) later give you a perfect printed proof that all you had to do is approve? Someone who you could trust to do a good job and in a timely manner?

A professionally designed Funeral Program could be the answer. Unique and special personalization in funeral programs are available all over the web. One do-it-yourself option is to download a program that allows you to do the customization yourself in pre-made template. Simply google “funeral template” and you will find several sites with programs for you to purchase. If however, you don’t want to do the layout yourself because it is to emotionally painful, you could enlist the help of a professional designer.

Now where do you find a professional graphic designer that focuses on funeral programs? Is there even such a thing?

Last Impression Designs is your trusted professional funeral graphic designer. They provide unique & beautiful funeral programs, posters, thank-you cards & memorial books. Each piece is specially created and designed just for your loved one. Using a professional designer for your funeral needs will bring a sense of relief to you and your family, and knowing that the end product will be exactly what you were looking for will be priceless. With a professional graphic designer, all you have to do is gather your favorite photos and fill out a short questionnaire that will guide you through what will be in the program. Then you just wait for your one of a kind, beautifully & professionally designed proof. Upon approval, the finished printed pieces will be delivered to you in the most timely and efficient manner. All the burden is now off your shoulders and on theirs. Phew! Plus, these one of a kind Funeral Programs will mean so much to your family & friends and will remain a treasured keepsake for generations.

Contact Last Impression Design Studio today for more help in creating your personalized and unique one of a kind Funeral Program. They also offer custom Thank-You Cards, Memorial Posters, Prayer Cards & Memorial Books.

Pros & Cons of a Professionally Designed Funeral Program

Pro’s and Con’s of getting a professionally designed Funeral Program

Most people aren’t too concerned with the funeral program, especially when dealing with the oh-so-recent death of a loved one. Its a last minute detail that we’d rather not have to deal with. One that someone ends up doing, usually just because they were the ones that couldn’t say “No”, and got stuck with it.  No big deal they think at first – it’s just a piece of paper with the order of service and a picture on it, I can handle this. But is that all it really is?

Truth is putting a funeral program together is a huge job! Ask anyone who’s had to do it and they will tell you, it takes a lot of dedication & hard work. Basically expect to be completely stressed out and emotionally exhausted for the next week.. Or as long as it takes you to get it done.

The real question is, if you had the choice to outsource it to a professional designer, would you? Would it be worth it to spend the money?

Here are a few Pro’s and Con’s to consider:

PRO’s

– A professionally designed program is a beautiful piece of art, a touching expression of the life and love that was & is your mother, grandmother, brother, aunt or uncle.

– A professionally designed program will make an immediate impression on your guests. They will leaf through it and feel immediately connected to the deceased… You will get compliments & know that you made that connection possible.

– A professionally designed program means that YOU don’t have to do any of the work. No typesetting, no scanning, no midnight trips to Kinko’s spending hours trying to figure out how to get the machine working, No stapling, No worries.

– A professionally designed program means, one less thing to think about.

– A professionally designed program will fuse family & friends to your loved one lost through pictures & stories.  It will allow for topics of conversation to get started & create a feeling of ease & comfort among family & guests at the service.

– A professionally designed program means giving your loved one the last goodbye  in the most memorable & honorable way possible.

CON’s

– Doing it yourself means you can save a little bit of cash. Not much, but it is a savings.

– Doing it yourself means you get to figure out exactly what you want it to look like yourself. Perhaps you are a creative person who can make a design of your own?

– Designing a funeral program for your loved one may give you a personal feeling of accomplishment. So what if it is super-professional looking, I did it myself & that’s what’s important.

– or Designing a funeral program yourself might be something you always wanted to do & feel you might actually be good at.

Perhaps one of these reasons resonates true with you and you do feel that creating the program yourself is the right choice for you. If this is true, by all means go for it! A funeral program is a treasurable keepsake, and the truth is, only you know if it is the right decision to get one done professionally or if you should do it yourself.

If however, you decide you are not the most creative person or perhaps you just don’t want to think about putting together a program, at least not right now. Plus, it’s not worth the emotional stress & headache or the few extra bucks in your pocket. And really, whats a few extra bucks for the one person who meant the absolute world to you anyway? Well – by all means, invest in a professionally designed program. It will be such a relief to know this is not your job anymore and to be re-assured that your loved one will make the most memorable last impression. I can assure you that once you see your family & friends faces when they pick it up look through it, you will know you made the right choice.

Click here for more info on where to get a professionally designed funeral program.